The Entitled Middle class Princess syndrome

In a post-modern society characterized by low fertility and few kids per family, each parent acts as kind and all forgiving Dhritrashtra thus giving rise to an army of modern Duryodhanas. Bad behaviour is not only tolerated but in many cases encouraged by the modern parents. Each kid is sold the story of being a special snow flake where the whole world is supposed to rotate around them. Thus begins the story of entitlement syndrome which follows Gen X from childhood to youth. Unfortunately, the world bites the young boys hard and puncture their ego balloon once they grow up where they are supposed to perform or perish. On the other hand their sisters turn out to be pretty lucky and their snow flake image only grows over time, which we will refer as Entitled Middle class Princess (EMP) syndrome. Look at this facebook page of The Spoilt Modern Indian Women to understand the level of narcissism and entitlement evident in the posts by these women, most of whom are definitely middle class if not modern.

What makes middle class girls special is that not only they are treated like princess by their family members but are fed the constant victimhood narrative associated with being a girl in third world country like India. The only difference is that unlike their poor sisters they hardly face any hardships and live a life of luxury supported by their parents. The protected environment provided by the family ensures that most of their wishes are fulfilled without little to no effort. This point can be confirmed by the praise that most of these middle class girls have for their father- specially on how they care of them. Also as mentioned above unlike men who still have to go and face the heat of the bad real world, middle class girls get a free pass even in social life from school to college to work, where all efforts are made to assuage their ego and mistakes over-looked thanks to the political correctness regime and the gender card.

Finally due to the system of arranged marriages and dowry, women still retain the right to work/not work after marriage unlike men who have no choice but to be the breadwinner of the family. Just look around yourself to confirm that there are hardly any men who are jobless and have a good wife while there are many young women, who prefer to opt out of the work force and still get married to a rich/powerful man. The use of gender card to shrug off each failure while getting rewarded for smallest accomplishments both at home and in public life generates extreme narcissism which these women then carry into their marriages, thus building extreme expectations that are impossible to be satisfied by future husbands. Given this EMP syndrome plus the tough anti-dowry laws, marriages are becoming a bad deal for middle class men, who have to pay a high cost in case they want to divorce one of these princesses.

Lets look at one such case of Abhinandan, a upper middle class Hindu boy who married Shruti two years ago. All was going well for the 28 year old orthopaedic surgeon before he agreed to marry the girl of his parent’s choice. The girl belonged to a political family with her father being a big shot in the local politics.The marriage took place with usual grandeur that defines current middle class marriages. The soft spoken and friendly doctor knew that marriage would change his life completely but did not know that it would be the biggest mistake of his life.

The problem started soon after marriage due to Abhinandan’s devotion to his family, which was something that Shruti did not like. The more she tried to pull him away from his family the more he resisted it tooth and nail. The constant pestering by his wife led to constant but small friction between them in the beginning, which kept on growing over time. The issue finally escalated to the point where Shruti aborted their three month old foetus and blamed the guy and his family for beating her up and causing abortion. The behaviour of Shruti was a common knowledge for all friends and both families but in the end the girl’s parents decided to side with her. The final result being that the whole family was slapped with 498A on false accusations. To make things worse Abhinandan’s younger sister, who was not even home, was blamed for forcing Shruti to abort the foetus. Given the mass abuse of 498A, it is not uncommon to hear such stories where entire families including women are punished to extract revenge.

You would think that it is just another story but given image of Abhinandan, it has left a sour matrimonial taste among many of his friends and well wishers to the point that many of them are considering to not marry at all or not marry middle class girls. If the trend continues middle class working women would have a tough time getting married as a lot of men would start preferring poor women, who don’t suffer from EMP. This trend is very similar to the one seen in western countries where white men are increasingly opting to marry Latino or Asian women, who are not as narcissistic as their western counterparts. Similarly in India, poor girls have seen the hardships of real life and would appreciate the hard work of their spouses for their family instead of whining about the patriarchy and oppression while watching TV and checking facebook inside an air conditioned house. Also poor girls, who have seen that real life is about compromises and not all wishes can be fulfilled are less likely to break marriages and slap divorce charges willy nilly. Another factor in favour of poor women is that they are a lot more grounded in our culture and reality and actually love having children, which is a biological duty of the family, instead of whining about how difficult it is to have children and manage them.

All in all, if this trend continues, middle class women may find it increasingly difficult to find suitable grooms in the coming years. Of course, thanks to hypergamy, men and their families would have little problems with marrying below their social status than girls or their families, who would find it difficult to marry their daughters to someone they consider below their standards. You can ask around to confirm that it is already getting difficult for parents to marry off their highly successful daughters. If middle class girls and their families want to stem this trend and stop this rot, they need to do a serious introspection on whether pampering their kids is such a good idea and if living alone with a cat like western women is better than adjusting to live with their husbands. Finally, this is not a men vs women issue as it is the parents who are to be blamed for this mess in the first place. This is a problem faced by the society as a whole as the women reading this would quickly realize that they are likely to have a brother or son of their own to be affected by it in the future. Similarly men, who cherish their duty of being fathers and brothers, should give it a good introspection as well. The west after having created permanent fault lines between men and women in their society in now trying hard to replicate this problem in India, which has always valued Dharma over rights and cherished both men and women for their contribution to family and society as a whole.

Note: All names that appeared in this article have been changed to protect identity.

  • Aditya Sanyal

    Brother, what a beautifully written article. This just fully made my day. Hats off author. May you be blessed with a long life to write many such thought provoking articles. God Bless You.

    • Yuga Parivartan

      Thanks.

  • Oneirolus

    Exaggerated article with forced far-fetched “conclusions” and explanations . Spoilt middle class Indian women are no more or no less in ratio to normal than the parallel asshole-middle-class-Indian-guys phenomenon. They both deserve each other. Issues happen only when spoilt women are matched up with non-asshole men or decent women get matched up with assholes mostly due to absurd arranged marriages, which are the real culprit despite the “hallowed culture” stuff that this article peddles. Dating weeds out these incompatibilities very well. Far from being an argument against “Western” values this article is just makes a good case to dump our absurd arranged marriage norms as – surprise! surprise! – women can be pretty nasty too and arranged marriage “domesticated cow” no longer works.

    • Yuga Parivartan

      Haha. dating weeds out incompatibilities. Sorry princess, everyone dates in US and it still has 50% divorce rates. Don’t fall for propaganda, use your brain. Btw, we did not take any stand on arranged/non-arranged marriage. But we do not stand with crowd that says— ohhh, arranged marriages so bad!!

      • Oneirolus

        Poor try butt-hurt prince. Divorce rates as argument! Ppl grow apart and separate instead of suffering in a messed up prison of marriage – That’s how individual freedom works instead of being chained up in lifelong failed marriages. Butt-hurt Indian princes need to grow up and face the challenges of modern human/gender interaction rather than taking individuals for granted.

        And to the commenter below, rapes in India r far at least as high as West as our legal system is more messy and societal barriers mean than even big incidents like Haryan Jat agitation rapes r hushed up .

        So, Indian men cant get their pretty domesticated and “high-class to boot” cow easily and women can even say No to having kids? Perfect!

        I just feel pity for stuck-up Indian men who seem pained and lost as Indian women (and many men) have evolved and the society has grown complex beyond their growing-up-period screwed-up simplistic fantasies.

        No wonder they are consoling each other in echo-chamber sites like this one as the world grows even more and more farther from their Vedic utopia.

        Too bad, the trend will only grow as it has grown in last 25 years.

        Of course, the princes will keep clutching their fantasies – as the world drifts slowly away – for few more generations before dying out.

        P.S. It’s interesting that the regressive right has become the dominant right-wing in India just as the regressive left seems to be dominating the left-wing world over.

        Adios!

        • MadIndian1

          Sorry princess, again facts are not on your side. West has 20times as many rapes as India is a fact. Wishing it away with your toxic ideological hatred won’t work.
          http://yugaparivartan.com/2016/01/17/the-rape-culture-of-west/

        • MadIndian1

          And let me get this straight, you would much rather want broken families even if that destroys the kids and their futures for your personal freedom than adjusting with your husband for the families ? Thanks for proving the article to be right. Hope that no unlucky bloke has to marry a miserble misandristic rat like you.

          I hope you like cats because that’s what is in store for your kind if the trend is going to continue. It’s either that or some substandard husband you will inevitably loathe to be with . either way, your princess syndrome won’t go unchallenged for long. Adios

        • guest

          ivorce rates as argument! Ppl grow apart and separate instead of suffering in a messed up prison of marriage

          a indication that ‘dating does not lead to a long term stability, because the reasons for that choice are not well thought out, or with the consideration that we are merely a small speck in a larger society. that broken families means broken society’ and beyond a point, money and state support does not help broken souls…

        • guest

          I just feel pity for such stuck-up Indian men who seem pained and lost as Indian women (and many men) have evolved and the society has grown complex beyond their growing-up-period screwed-up simplistic fantasies.

          Those simplistic fantasies made India one of the most stable societies, with low sales of anti-depressants, and high rate of focus on development of younger generations. when parents are busy taking care of their broken families and desperately trying to make ends meet because there is no family or spousal support, children –meaning the future–is the biggest casualty….

        • Singh Sardar

          Your hypergamous nature, will mean you go for the same man as the Indian girl with values; except she’s a virgin.

          So you try to ‘level the playing field’ by making her a slut too. Real problem is polygamy being banned because it doesn’t allow women to be satisfied by having a husband of significantly higher status than them.

          Which, is all your poor girl fantasizing is really about. However, make no mistake even Acharya Chankya Ji said:

          A poor ugly girl with character is preferable to a rich beautiful one without.

          Jai Hind

          • guest

            So you try to ‘level the playing field’ by making her a slut too.

            well said, that is what the media and all the movie images do…

          • MadIndian1

            Your replies are awesome bro. But one suggestion- pls put the points you quote inside a quote mark or //…// and it will be easier to read

        • Singh Sardar

          We’ll just ‘honor’ kill you when things get too out of hand. Don’t worry, we’ll deal with societal problems & mentally ill melechas like you too.

          This is Bharat, we’re not going anywhere.
          http://therightstuff.biz/2015/11/04/manhood-in-the-bargain/

          Jai Hind

      • Aditya Sanyal

        Love the person you marry. Keep loving him/her. Thats the essence.

        • guest

          what makes you think that ain’t possible in arranged marriage. after all it does not matter how love comes. But love is when people care for each other. and either way is there is a guarantee??? that the person you date you will love forever. But if you focus on the person’s character—not just how the person is with you, but how they are with others, what are their values, do they care for elders, are they willing to sacrifice….those values ensure that they will care for you as well–because you go for ‘a complete value systems’ than a simple one to one compatibility. all these values were always the basis of arranged marriage

    • MadIndian1

      Sorry princess, 50% divorce rates and 50% single moms and 20 times higher rapes paint a different story to your ” weeding out dating process of the West “.

      Men who have the option of dating and sex outside marriage have no reason to marry in the first place. Soon, Indian women will join Western cat ladies who die alone with a cat just like in the West, if your dating becomes the norms.

      Arranged marriages works far better here in India than the pump and dump dating culture of the West because here the society sees marriage as a union filled with compromises. By sure, if you want to be a cat lady, you are free to fuck around. By don’t whine about men when you become single crazy cat lady in the end because of your actions

  • अहं ब्रह्म अस्मि

    I know where you are coming from and some of the points you’ve highlighted, resonate with me as well, especially the one where you mention that we have forgotten our dharma. I also penned my thoughts about dating apps a while back, which is my assessment of the kind of girls one comes across. Do read it and share your thoughts – https://shailarora.wordpress.com/2015/08/19/an-indian-lads-take-on-dating-apps/

  • Shruti

    In short, marry poor girls whom you can control and exploit. What a shitty, sexist article. Please don’t generalise to all women just because you or one of your friends had a bad marriage. Show statistics to back up your bullshit. Also, the reason 50% marriages end up in divorce in US is because both men and women are educated and know their rights unlike in India where women are not allowed to be educated and are
    exploited and forced to compromise. There is not even a law on Marital rape here. First go get educated on all the issues in Indian society then spout your Dharma nonsense.

    • MadIndian1

      Look another entitled princess with head up her ass like her western feminist sisters. Seriously princess, Indian literacy rate for women is 70%+. So as per your own theory that only women’s literacy rate is the cause of 50% divorce rate, it would still mean that India has 35% divorce rate unlike the present 2-4% divorce rate. So your argument that women don’t divorce here because they are illiterate is pathetic.

      Then again, why should women divorce? Marriage is compromise. Women mostly know that here, except for the few pathetic entitled ugly feminist cunts(like you). That’s why we have a low divorce rate. But if women are bred to be ugly narcissistic cunts like you, indeed divroces will skyrocked here as well, just like the west.

      If you want to be a miserable cat lady on depression pills, like the ugly lesbian feminists in the west, by all means don’t marry and live alone with a cat drenched in cat piss, but stop claiming that your depression pill addicted cat life style is actually good for women. Don’t find company for your misery. Keep this divorced single cat lady misery to yourself.

      Finally, marital rape is an oxymoron. You give consent for lifelong sex at the marriage instance. If not, again take your own advice and don’t get married. We men are not your slaves to work in the name of marriage. We are not getting married to work for a “princess” unless we get sex out of the deal. Deal with it.

      But then again, you might want all women to be miserably and lonely like you are and hence might like it if marital rape law is enforced and men stop marrying altogether like they have in the west ,where majority men don’t even marry today and all women become lonely and drenched in cat piss like you do don’t you?

      • thesteelguy

        Haha control brother. 🙂

        • aphelionu

          He’s right brother. The EMP crazy woman should control herself, not him.

    • MadIndian1

      And do the world and humanity a favor-dont marry or have kids and pass on your miserable and ugly genes

    • guest

      The problem is a this rights based culture that forgets that rights are a consequence of duties….what duties do they perform as husbands, and wives?

    • Hemantkumar Garach

      A member of business family in my community was divorced by his wife and she said I will get you killed and take all your property. Are women really weak/oppressed/discriminated ?

  • Imnindian Imnindian

    You have articulated my exact thoughts but much better than i ever would have. The sense of entitlement that today’s girls feel(instilled by parents) can not be recounted in words. I have seen parents tell their daughter at the time of “Vidaai” that if in-laws say anything to you or the husband does not listen to you, just pack your bags and come home and we will sort them out. To top it all, we have crazy laws which in the name of women empowerment are wreaking havoc in the society. At this rate, i am sure the good old “Indian family values” would be a thing of the past.

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  • krish

    This is an extremely wonderful article. It gives an exact picture of the pain our society is undergoing. It is only after we diagnose the disease we can find the cure. This article is really an eye opener.
    Good job friend.

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