How Feminism ruins the happiness of women

Feminists have made western women miserable

Countless studies and surveys in the West have shown that western women are on average getting miserable every decade for the past several decades while men’s happiness have been constant. Many in west find this to be contrary to what they expected because the ultra progressive feminism of the west was thought to be harbringer of liberation and hence happiness for the women of the west. However, many mainstream academia and media there, because they are clouded by their own “feminism is good” bias, miss the most important reason for the declining happiness of women in the west which is Feminism.

Decreasing women happiness: Stevenson and Wolfers, 2009

For a long time, the western media and feminists have been pushing a narrative that women would be happy with their work life and that they would get as much satisfaction from being a corporate money slave as they would from having a loving husband and loving children and loving families. They have been pushing the narrative that women can have career as much as they can have a family without any problem even though this is against reality. Given this reality, feminists have now hardened their stance against nature even more by further downplaying the role of motherhood and are increasingly calling it slavery and asking women to opt out of child bearing all together. They come to this conclusion because of viewing the world with feminist lens that men and women are absolutely the same. However, men and women are not absolutely the same. Men don’t have to take a break of 1 year from their careers to have children like women and hence have a natural edge in the careers. Men also have a higher strength in their overall body and only the top 0.1% of women can match the body strength of an average Man. This is the biological reality and cannot be wished away. While traditionally, the families helped women against this natural bias through institution of marriage, now the feminists have forced western governments and increasingly the industry to bear this private cost of having children, thus replacing regular husband with the new husband called big government.

However, this is not a bad thing. Questioning why it is unfair that men can have a career AND family while women can’t have both is ignoring the reality that women have to undergo 9 months of pregnancy and another 6-9 months of child rearing when the child must be with his mother compulsory. This takes away almost 1 year away from career of the women for each child they have. But that’s not a bad thing as propounded by feminists. When they have husbands taking care of them and earning for them when they are vulnerable during bearing and rearing a child, why should it matter where the money and resources for taking care of the child comes from? This is a problem only if one views woman as a single unit instead of viewing women as a part of a whole unit called family. So long as men and women are part of family, such differences in careers and working capabilities hardly figure into anything meaningful as both men and women would complement each other and form synergies to raise their families together for a better future. Even through government intervention, this problem will not disappear as women still have to take almost or more than an year off per child, thus making it difficult to balance career and family together. Unless women become like men and completely give up their natural instincts for motherhood, this constraint will remain binding. Now the only question which remains to be answered is whether women will like to have loving caring husbands next to their side during this important period of their life or a faceless government.

However, since many women in the west were brainwashed into pursuing a career over finding a suitable family before their prime age of 22-25, they end up wasting their prime time looking for careers and becoming corporate slaves like most men. However, since men value youth and beauty in women over money, for the most part at least, they end up not going after “career” women. So when the career women come looking for a man to settle down after their youth has faded away, they usually end up being disappointed that there is no one left, at least not the kind of guys they dreamt would be theirs. Eventually they settle for a guy that they usually end up loathing because they had passed up so many better potential mates during their prime age but were forced by career to not settle down. This undoubtedly leaves a large number of women unsatisfied with their marriages as they end up taking divorce and finally becoming lonely cat ladies in their old age.

Also, feminism has also reduced any taboo regarding divorces and free sex in the west in the name of sexual revolution. This has further reduced the incentive for men there to marry them in the first place. Why would men marry women when they can get free sex with far less emotional and economic baggage that is associated with marriage? This has led to Pick Up Artist culture in the west among men. Either way, both contribute to low marriages and high divorces in the western society and the women and men having to live separately and divorced for the major part of their life. Is it any wonder that western marriages fail more than 50% of the time even though most marriages happen after several dates and partners and live in relationships, implying that the marriage must have finally happened after the couple had decided that they have a lot of compatibility? This also busts the myth of better screening mechanism associated with love marriages. The truth is, marriage needs commitment more than compatibility to work and feminism and its assault on western families have turned marriage from being about commitment to being about compatibility. Now the western society is paying the price for it with 50% divorces and 50% single moms and 20 times higher per capita rapes than India.

How feminism destroyed the happiness of Chinese women

While feminism has completely ruined western society and it’s family structures, it is now in the process of ruining eastern cultures and society too. Chinese and Japanese society, which are all family values based societies much like Indian society are also starting to feel the pinch caused by feminism. And as with western feminism, feminism in China is ruining the happiness of the women there as well. For a long time, feminist elites in Chinese media propagandised about the greatness of women entering workforce and sacrificing their early lives for career. They fed the lie that women will be as satisfied with their lives as corporate paper pushers as they would be with their family life and children and that women can have a family after they had established a career for themselves. However, reality is far different from propaganda and China is not special either. The women who believed the media lies that men would like their money more than their youth and pursued a career instead of pursuing a family at their prime age are now finding it increasingly difficult to get married even though they are very rich now. It is important to note here that China has a very bad sex ratio and these women should have had no problem in getting married just because the demand for marriageable women would be very high due to very poor sex ratio. Still, these women have a hard time finding a “suitable” life partner and are called “leftover women” in Chinese parlance. Of course, the western feminists are now trying to blame the Chinese society and government for shaming these women, but fact of the matter is that these women are themselves sad due to lack of interest they receive from men.

Though this is a generalisation, it will hold true for most men and women- men are visual creatures and are attracted to youth and beauty of a woman and women are needy creatures who are attracted to wealth and security of a man. There is nothing wrong in either behaviour as they are deep rooted in biology and evolution. Men love women because they can have babies and hence are attracted to young women who can have healthy babies compared to old women. Women on the other hand are very vulnerable socially and financially when they have children and look to men who can provide them security- physical, financial and social and hence marry more for their power and wealth than their physical attraction, even though physical attributes do have a role in attraction.

This is why, even though the Chinese women are now millionaires they find it very difficult to find men of equal status to marry today. Women want men of same status as themselves to be their husbands and hence will try to look for millionaire men. The only problem however is that millionaire men are already rich and are more attracted to youth and beauty and would rather marry younger, less rich women as they themselves have all the money they want and have little use for more money compared to a good wife who can take care of their families better. Of course the western articles on this issue has dismissed the issue as being patriarchal mindset but that doesn’t change the truth or the ground reality or the biological realities of the sexes. Whining and crying about patriarchy is not going to make women go after poor beggars for marriage nor is it going to make rich men go after old “career” women just because the feminists say so. All that feminists have done is given women bad advice and have ruined their chances of success in their love life and hence an overall happier lifestyle. Having blindly chosen career by completely side-lining the importance of family, is it any wonder that women’s happiness has been on the decline ever since the advent of feminism?

  • guest

    These articles are thought provoking, but what happens when their mind set becomes like this ‘marriage is not important for happiness’ it is hard to revert back.

    • MadIndian1

      They are not only nearly impossible to revert back, even if by some miracle they do realise their folly, they are far too gone to go back to family life- the westerners joke about this as “hitting the wall”, referring to women who wasted their prime for career/”fun”/sex etc only to become very desperate at their 30s to settle down and finding it damn impossible to find a mate/husband. They then end up convincing themselves that what they did was good and that they are doing great themselves. What else can they do at that stage?

      • guest

        Yes, that is the sad part. So what is the solution, way out, way to break this cycle…

        • MadIndian1

          Do you mean how they can break from that cycle or do you mean how we can break this from happening to our children?

          • guest

            I agree with you on so many points. The thing is that they are all sold this idea that west is the best. And as we see the west is unravelling at a fast pace. I do want to stay hopeful or else it seems like such a harsh life to move forward. We need to have informal schools like sunday schools to engage the young in these dialogues.

          • MadIndian1

            I don’t think Sunday schools can be done from a practical point of view. We don’t have compulsory church going/Sunday community gatherings. So I don’t think it is possible to bring Sunday schools type system for Hindus. I think the the only feasible way , at least as of now is to spread these ideas to everyone we know , asking them to share it themselves with their friends,colleagues etc and create a consensus. it is a slow process, but I think that’s the only process which can work. People need to be shown what the actual west looks like. I was lucky to see both sides but most of my generation isn’t that lucky.

          • guest

            Yes, many young are enamoured by the new bollywood, and what it shows western to mean. which is always rosy, and very different from the reality,

          • guest

            So yes, we should talk to people. Although I find it increasingly difficult. You go to these ‘birthday parties’ or other such celebrations, and everyone, especially the women are interested in TV shows and fashion. Men are interested in cricket and sensex. How do you even talk to children about it. Something on a regular basis needs to be done. Some sort of camps. I know that Art Of Living and other such organisations do it, but in their desire to be worldly they leave main aspects of hinduism out. We need schools that will talk about such things. Or some organisations. Increasingly, there are neighbourhoods where no one cares for the other. at least in the cities.

          • MadIndian1

            The art of living types, at least the current ones, are worse than not having any Hindu organisations at all. They would rather make Hinduism secular and make it easier for Christianity to digest us by secularising our traditions for a few extra dollars they can make from goras and Christians than be a proper Hindu organisation which uses Hindu traditions to convert for Hinduism and defend our traditions. Babaisms -be it Sri Sri or Jaggi vasu dev are more dangerous to Hindu faith. Did you see how Jaggi said yoga should not be claimed to be Hindu? What good does it do for us other than delegitimise Hinduism and paving way for xtians yoga? Compare that to how xtian religious leaders use every dirty trick in the book for conversions

          • guest

            Yeah, good point. I used to think spread of yoga was spread of hinduism but I now realise that they just use it and then give it a new name to call it their own, very frustrating. I mean what is ‘christian yoga’ for heaven’s sake? I could say a few things but I was not taught to make fun of other religions, even the fraud ones, that steal other faiths ideas, ‘yoga and meditation’ and call it their own, christian yoga, and christian meditation.

  • thesteelguy

    So glad an Indian journal is tackling this hateful and divisive ideology and how it is particularly harmful to Indian society.

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