The march of feminism continues unabated in the middle class sections of India. It has not yet attained the ugly militant form as in the west but given the popularity of the feminist memes among young girls, it would grip a large section of society sooner or later. The most important reason for the rise of this militancy would lie in failed or low satisfaction marriages for career girls.
Swati is currently working in Railways and is turning thirty in a month. Swati and her parents have been trying hard to find her a suitable partner for the last 2 years but it has not been going well as most of their calls don’t get returned by the boys’ family. Having studied at JNU, there was never a dearth of suitors for Swati where she completed her Masters before spending few more years to crack civil services exam and join Railways. She ignored most of the arranged marriage proposals during her Masters, but now finds herself on the wrong side.
To understand the genesis of this problem, one has to look at the destroyed societies of west. How did it happen in the west? Feminists brainwashed women that they can attain everything in the world i.e. both great career and great partner. But since feminism is a political ideology, it is hardly rooted in any natural phenomenon.
Attraction to prime age fertile women had been a very well understood phenomenon in all cultures until the march of feminism which denied nature and bashed it as a patriarchal value. Those who believed this propaganda are now paying the cost in terms of depression pills and failed marriages.
But why is this even a problem for India? This is not a problem for India yet but it will become one very soon in the future. Career girls and their families are already feeling the heat in the marriage market due to ignoring traditional values and delaying marriage till they are 30 years old and un-marriageable. This is a big problem in China as well where 30 year old women are given the title of “leftover women”.
Unsurprisingly this problem does not vanish away even though India has a very poor sex ratio. The reason behind it is that the successful women and their families practise hypergamy and would not marry a beggar or anyone below their standards, while rich boys will marry prime age fertile women.
What is the way forward to this situation? Given advancement in technology and easy solutions to household chores, it is natural that most women will join workforce. But this should not happen at the cost of building future families. It is important for both the girls and their families to not ignore the forces of nature and give equal weight to both career and family. Career can be advanced even after marriage and there is no reason to turn to depression pills later in life to prove oneself modern and flag bearer of a stupid ideology which is disconnected from reality.
All names and professions have been changed to protect identity.
The peaceful Indian Muslim myth is a fairytale that has been perpetuated by elitist Hindu liberals. It is one of those myths which is bought wholesale by both the left and the right. But sadly like any other fairytale, it is not based on any facts. Look at the nature of political Islam from 1920 to 2016 and you will find that nowhere has it been more treacherous and lethal than in the Indian subcontinent. There are Islamic political movements in the Middle East too — there was the Baath party in Iraq, Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt and various other groups — but none of them led to the treacherous partition of a nation the way it did in India. In fact, claiming that Muslims of the subcontinent are peaceful is the Hindu way to hide the shameful past of being pounded by the Muslims.
The worst assumption one could make is that Indian Muslims are different from their Pakistani counterparts. Why so? Do they follow a different book? Obviously not. Go to any foreign nation and observe — the moment a Muslim from the subcontinent sets his foot on foreign land, he immediately severs his cultural roots and gets connected to the global Islamic political movements there. Just to give a small example, there are many Change.org petitions about protecting Indian interests — how many Indian Muslims do you see participating in those? How many NRI Muslims do you see walking in rallies on the streets of the US or UK to speak in favour of India? None. The moment they go there, they immediately connect their roots with the Ummah — and subsequently you will find many Indian Muslims walking in rallies for Palestine, Lebanon and Kashmir. They whole-heartedly support anti-west, anti-Israel and anti-India (basically anti-kafir) coalitions.
The Ummah mentality of the Muslims of the subcontinent has not gone away — in fact, it has only strengthened with the onset of the internet and other communication channels. Wherever there are Muslims, there is always a problem. Don’t give more credit to someone just because they happened to be born in a certain geographical part of the world. They themselves don’t care about this geography, because they believe that international borders are artificial barriers which stop Muslims from linking to form a united Ummah. Islam is not a race — it is an ideology, and unless you are making a claim that Indian Muslims have a different Quran than other Muslims (which they obviously don’t), the peaceful Indian Muslim argument holds no water.
An ideology at whose core lies antagonism against non-believers cannot be an inclusive one, no matter how much PR spin you try to give it. A lot of those who claim Indian Muslims to be more peaceful than the rest of the world are subconsciously linking it with Sufism. Even Akbar, who was under the influence of Sufi saints, killed 6 lakh Hindus. In fact, all the Muslim rulers who committed atrocities on Hindus had Sufis in their cabinet. And still some people think that Sufism is peaceful Islam.
The very fact that Hindus aren’t allowed to claim Ram Mandir is a testimony to the fact that Indian Muslims don’t adhere to a more evolved and tolerant form of Islam claimed by many. The thought process is the same as that of the invaders. Ram Mandir issue is not a real estate dispute and cannot be looked at from that angle. It is a much deeper issue of constitutional violation of the religious rights of Hindus in an allegedly secular nation which allegedly guarantees religious freedom. Ram Janmabhoomi is to Hindus what Mecca is to Muslims — there can be no negotiation on this. The fact that we are stuck in negotiations reflects that Indian Muslims have in fact NOT given up their ideological terrorism which stems from their need to dominate and persecute Hindus wherever they can. Reconciliation is a two-way street where both parties agree to walk one step each and meet in the middle. The iconoclasm of Indian Muslims is written all over the Ayodhya issue and is impossible to ignore.
Then there is another pet theory peddled around by Islam apologists according to which economic progress will lead to less radicalization — implying by corollary that poverty leads to terrorism. This has been categorically proved to be false. A lot of people involved in Jihadi activities are upper middle class, educated people. Take a look at the Indian boys who went to fight for ISIS. They were working in MNCs with a salary of 12 lakh per annum — more than what an average Indian earns. An average ISIS fighter earns a salary of 800$ a month. If money was the motivating factor to become a terrorist, surely many poor people would have agreed to join these groups for even 80$ a month, given that 60% of the world lives in poverty. Why didn’t all those poor people join them? Because people with a sane moral compass stay away from such ideologies even in the face of abject poverty.
Osama bin Laden was a billionaire. But that did not stop him from taking to extremism. Extremism is a political ideology — an idea which transcends social and economic class barriers. Shah Rukh and Amir Khan have no shortage of money, but they still indulge in Jihadi propaganda. How much money do you think the government needs to give them to stop propagating those ideas? How much money do you think would Hafiz Saeed take so that he magically stops being a terrorist?
Money is orthogonal to the issue of terrorism — it is a facilitator but not the driving force. The problem of ideological extremism is not going to go away by just throwing money at it. It is like throwing food at a wolf and expecting him to magically start behaving like a domesticated dog. He will eat the food but still continue to remain a wolf and your life is still under threat because you haven’t solved the core problem. The core problem is that unlike other fascist ideologies like Nazism and other forms of imperialism, Islam never underwent any reform because no one ever dared to tell them that. Germans today acknowledge Nazism was evil because their history books told them about the horrors it perpetuated. Islam has never been told that the atrocities it perpetuated were wrong — so instead of undergoing reform, it continues to live in its own merry world assuming that period to be “glorious.”
So Hindus should stop patting themselves on the back and giving a peaceful certificate to sub-continental Muslims. The history of Indian Muslims is far from peaceful. Even if one forgets pre-independence riots, in the post-independence period Muslims have already shown what they are capable of by throwing out Kashmiri Pandits from the valley — which was anything but peaceful. They were able to achieve this ethnic cleansing while fighting against the might of the Indian state machinery. The only hurdle in the achievement of this goal of dar-ul-Islam in the rest of the country is the fact that Hindus still have demographic majority, which is slowly but steadily slipping away in many regions. The ethnic cleansing of minorities in Pakistan and Bangladesh should be a wake-up call for all those who comfortably prefer to ignore this demographic reality.
What is then the solution to this problem? The solution can be found — but the first step is to acknowledge that there is no such entity called “Peaceful Indian Muslim.” Once most Hindus acknowledge the existence of this problem, only then can solutions be found.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. Hence all characters in this story belong to @blog_supplement and not to me. The stories are all meant to be in humour and not to offend anyone.
Part 2
Vidrum tried to keep up with Somakhya who was running towards Lootika’s house like his life depended on it.
“Now come on Somakhya I understand that this situation might not seem very nice for you,” began Vidrum. “But think about it in a more positive light. Lootika’s impressive physical beauty plus Meghana’s awesome trendy personality would make the absolute wonder woman. You will not be able to resist her. Trust me.”
Somakhya stopped and shook Vidrum and screamed, “No!!!!!”
Somakhya then said, “Vrishchika, Varoli and Jhileeka have all gone to their grandparents house last week and still haven’t come back. That means only Lootika and her parents might be home. I hope her parents didn’t get a heart attack seeing her new avatar. They dote on her a lot.”
They continued to reach the familiar street where Lootika lived which was not too far from Somakhya’s house. They paused when they reached her house and out of habit they tidied their hair and clothes and chewed on some mint as their mothers always told them to do before entering a girl’s house. They knocked on the door and after a few moments it was opened by Lootika. They saw that Meghana was standing right behind her. Somakhya noticed that Lootika looked different in many ways. She had removed her tilaka completely and had some Arabic mehendi on her hands. Her usual intellectual woman demeanour had been replaced with an arrogant Bollywood diva demeanour.
Lootika looked at them and said, “Oh look Meghana, just when we were enjoying our time together these sexually frustrated Hindu males had to turn up. Oh my god this country is just too patriarchal that secular sisters can’t even have some alone time to talk without some Hindu male pig barging in the middle. Well that gives me an idea of a new bashtag I can make on Bitter – #NoTimeForWomen. Yes that should get me a lot of re-beets for sure.”
“Looks like it happened,” Vidrum whispered to Somakhya.
Lootika sighed and went to the kitchen while Vidrum went to Meghana. Vidrum asked Meghana, “What happened to her and why did you come over?”
Meghana’s eyes were sparkling. “She became awesome that’s what happened. She is no longer the fascist she was before and I’ve changed my mind about her. She invited me over since her parents have gone out.”
Vidrum looked at Somakhya. Somakhya shrugged and said, “Well at least she hasn’t kicked us out now. Let’s stay and see if I can think of a cure. I remember Lootika telling me about a cure for it when we discovered this but I forgot and I doubt she is in a state to tell me now. First I’ll call Lootika’s parents to tell them not to get too alarmed about this situation.”
Somakhya went outside to make the call and Lootika called Meghana to come over to her room to continue talking.
Meghana told Vidrum, “I suppose you guys can come too. We have some snacks.”
Somakhya came back in and they went to Lootika’s room. Lootika was smoking a cigarette and she beckoned Meghana to sit on the beanie bag next to her. Meghana grabbed a bag of chips and sat down while Somakhya and Vidrum decided to stand near them and lean on the wall instead. Lootika started smoking a cigarette and said, “Well Meghana tell me about how it is in the feminist club. I’m being invited to their weekly general meetings starting this week. I just wanted to know if there are some snooty bitches there that I might need to compete with in being secular. Not that they can ever match me of course.”
Meghana almost choked on her chips. “You got invited to the general meetings?”
“Yes of course,” said Lootika. “I called them just before you came and asked them why the hell they didn’t let an uber feminist like me join the feminist club. That too when I have 10k followers on Bitter. At first when they heard my name for some odd reason they got vehemently angry with me but after conversing with me for some time and reading my new beets on Bitter they changed their mind. They said based on my performance and behaviour in the weekly general meetings they would allow me to join the weekly ‘liberation from the Hindu phallus’ meetings that are conducted every Friday just before the bolly femina night party.”
Now Meghana was really choking on her chips. “The weekly ‘liberation from the Hindu phallus’ meetings?? You got promised to get into that? Those are the most prestigious of all the feminist club meetings. Only the uber female elites are allowed in there. Getting free admission into them is no less than getting free admission into Harvard.”
“It’s all in a day’s work for me. Otherwise my name wouldn’t be Lootika, would it? Yes, I aim high always. Next I’m going to climb the feminist ladder and reach the top. Along the way of course I’m going to get a marunmatta bf, anyway not like that needs any effort on my part. But I would prefer him to be of Arab blood because I like high quality.”
Meghana threw her chips bag away and looked a little upset. “Screw that I’m just going to become fat if I eat those! I want an Arab blood guy too after all!”
“But Meghana,” began Vidrum.
“Shut up I’m in a bad mood,” she said. “Anyway this is sister time so don’t talk.”
Lootika opened a bottle of scotch next to her and the cork flew into Vidrum’s face. Lootika turned to Meghana and said, “Oh yeah I forgot to tell you something really trivial that happened to me. Some boy from university named Abdul Khan called me before you came in and asked me if I was willing to go out with him to the Bollywood bar tomorrow night. I told him look dude I sympathize with minority males a lot but I really don’t know you and perhaps you are not at my league so I’ll have to think about it.”
This time Meghana couldn’t control herself and shouted, “What the fuck! Abdul Khan is the most uber handsome alpha marunmatta we ever knew other than the Bollywood Khans! You are thinking about whether you should go with him or not?”
“You want me to tell him to go out with you instead?” asked Lootika. “Because I’m totally fine with that. I’m sure an Arab prince will come to take me out sooner or later if this fascist country allows him to come here.”
“No thanks, Miss privileged!” shouted Meghana sobbing. “He asked you out not me. What an entitled bitch you are! I never even got invited to any feminist meetings ever before. They only allowed me to edit the articles. And Abdul Khan never ever wanted anything from me other than a strand of my hair.”
Meghana ran out of the house sobbing.
“Well that escalated quickly,” Vidrum whispered to Somakhya. “Lootika and Meghana can’t get along even if Lootika is secular. What a wonder.”
“What a jealous bitch she is,” observed Lootika. “So this is the quality of feminists they produce these days. Tsk tsk. I have to correct things when I come into power. Secularism first, jealous later. That should be the slogan.”
Lootika then turned to Vidrum and Somakhya and crossed her arms and said, “Well what do you two Hindu lechers want from me?”
Vidrum swept his hair back and said, “But sweetheart can’t you see I’m secular?”
Lootika shrugged. “Still an unattractive Indian male.”
“Well?” Lootika said turning to Somakhya.
Somakhya didn’t respond to her. He didn’t feel the need to. Besides she seemed more like an alien to him now rather than the Lootika he knew all these years. Sure, her looks were still the same but as he told himself one must not get overly attached to the charms of a woman lest they be burdened with too much misery. Just as the wise Buddha had said every perceived joy in this world is ephemeral and the Lootika today might not be the Lootika tomorrow.
Vidrum elbowed him and said, “Come on quit thinking so seriously. This is a parody, not MT’s blog. And to top it all it is never recorded that the wise Buddha never said anything like the Lootika today might not be the Lootika tomorrow.”
“Yes,” said Somakhya. “That line is going to be my copyrighted teaching when I renounce the worldly life. Anyway we have nothing to gain over here now. Its getting late so let’s go to my house and rack our brains to see if we can find a cure.”
To be continued…
The author uses Twitter handle @arunbeeta
Originally published April 25, 2016 on Yuga Parivartan.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. Hence all characters in this story belong to @blog_supplement and not to me. The stories are all meant to be in humour and not to offend anyone.
Part 1
It was the start of the summer holidays before Lootika and Somakhya’s fourth year at MT university and Vidrum and Somakhya were sitting in the cricket field near their house chatting. Lootika had been with them for a while before they came to the field as they had gone together to the great MT shrine near the university to pay their respects. Vidrum had asked Lootika (much to Somakhya’s ire) whether she would be interested in staying in the field along with them so that she could do some cheer leading for them and added that Somakhya might enjoy it very much. She declined and said that she had to go to her house so Somakhya and Vidrum ended up sitting on the field ground for a while after they had finished a little practice for the big match at the university.
“The big match is going to be amazing,” commented Vidrum. “This is probably the first time everyone is taking it very seriously.”
“And they should,” said Somakhya. “Did you take a look at the team makeup? All the marunmattas are on the opposite team while all the hindus and secular hindus are on our team. This is analogous to India vs Pakistan. Especially since there are a lot of secular Islamophile moles in our team begging us not to stress ourselves out for the match and saying things like not having any girls in our team clearly shows our patriarchal nature despite the fact that this is supposed to be an all-male team and our opponents would never have any girls even if it wasn’t.”
“Oh please,” said Vidrum waving his hand. “You always think of everything in terms of marunmattas and pretas and all. Sit back and relax and enjoy the classic Indian entertainments – things like cricket, bollywood, samosas, fair-skinned Punjabi women and all.”
“We have to be a little serious about our country and our future,” chided Somakhya. “Just last week Lootika and I received a small reward from our esteemed security adviser Ajit Goval for our little contribution to his operation in the Sunderbans. We automatically gained a lot of followers on Bitter rather than those one or two bot followers we had previously. Lootika now has 10k followers on Bitter and PM Moody even promised us that he will follow both our handles for our insights but he has not done so till now.”
“Wow!” said Vidrum. “But wait, how many followers do you have now?”
Somakhya looked a little taken aback. “Well…. just 300 now. I suspect it has something to do with the differences between Lootika’s BP (twist on DP 🙂 ) and mine. Especially when a lot of secular and marunmatta guys seem to follow her and not me, one would guess it is because of something more than the content of her beets.”
“I am not on Bitter,” said Vidrum stroking his chin. “Meghana persuaded me not to join because she was complaining that there were too many Findus on it and she said they are always bitter about something.”
Suddenly Vidrum and Somakhya noticed that Lootika had left her water bottle with them. Vidrum picked it up and some water spilled out onto the grass. Somakhya’s eye widened as she saw the grass glisten and turn slightly white in colour where the water had fallen.
“That looks really familiar and ominous,” said Somakhya pointing to it. “Come, we have to go to the lab immediately. Get that water bottle along with you!”
Vidrum didn’t understand much but he ran along with Somakhya to the university. On the way they ran into Sharvamanyu who was just on his way back home.
“Hey Somakhya!” he called out.
“I do not have much time now,” insisted Somakhya. “Tell me some other time Sharvamanyu.”
“But this is really important,” said Sharvamanyu. “I saw that uber marunmatta guy Abdul Khan snooping around your third year chemistry lab this morning while all of you were busy in class. He seemed to be very interested in checking yours and Lootika’s samples and work. I think he must have gotten access to the lab from your brain-in-the-mud secular classmate Vishal.”
“Thanks for the info,” said Somakhya and continued to drag Vidrum along with him to the university gate.
“Abdul Khan?” said Vidrum suddenly. “I know him partly because Meghana always speaks about him. He is the son of a very rich businessman and president of the Sickular Students Union as well as the president of the Oppressed Minorities of MT University Sympathy and Charity Club on our campus. He is also the de facto head of the Bollywood club on campus but actually he makes some secular Hindu guy karan kohar do all the organizational work in it while he just goes once in a while to pose on stage and bang the chicks later. He was rated as most sexy and progressive man by the weekly MT university feminist magazine and received similar praise and approval from the LGBT on campus club. Incidentally he is also the head of our opponent team in the big match even though he can’t play cricket.”
“Seems like a complete asshole to me,” said Somakhya.
“Well actually that’s not how Meghana described him much to my dismay,” said Vidrum sighing.
“Either way if he was snooping around our lab it can only mean trouble. The esteemed founders of our university would be quite upset to see the state of it today with all the secular preta-influenced and marunmatta clubs and societies in our campus.”
Somakhya and Vidrum entered the lab with their access card and Somakhya took the water bottle and began analysing its contents with her microscope. Vidrum took a seat next to him and casually looked at a MT uni-feminist magazine that someone left on the table. One article in the middle of it read “Don’t be fooled! Women can be misogynists too!” The article went on to describe a third year biology major student named Lootika who had a fascist handle on Bitter and had notoriously gained popularity recently. It described her as an evil witch that was certainly a curse on womankind. The article also mentioned while they could not make much sense out of her obscure, complicated beets what they could tell was that she was a fascist and that the most blasphemous thing about her was that she did not think Bollywood was cool. The writers of the article ended saying that they noticed the fact that some secular guys who had proclaimed themselves as lovers of feminists had decided to follow her handle and if they do not immediately stop taking interest in Lootika then they would face the full consequences of feminist rage. Vidrum flipped to the next page and saw that the next article was about how men should control their rage and not be curious to find out who a woman is following on Bitter.
“Aha! I guessed correctly!” Said Somakhya suddenly. “The water in Lootika’s bottle has Buckminister-phosphate-guanocytosine-looti-meghite mixed into it!”
“What? What! What?!!” Said Vidrum.
“Come on its not that complicated, its just Buckminister-phosphate-guanocytosine-looti-meghite,” said Somakhya with a shrug. “Oh I see. You don’t know about it because Lootika and I dropped the idea of publishing a research article on it because the idea is trivial and also would lack funding. Basically its a simple chemical we discovered that tastes exactly like water but can be used to transform a Lootika into a Meghana. One of our most peculiar discoveries.”
“Oh how is it made?” asked Vidrum trying to stop the throbbing in his head.
“Well first you take a strand of hair from both Lootika and Meghana and tie them together and then place them in a solution of MT liquid. Then you go to the shrine of the god Bollocks who is the arch enemy of our patron devta MT and do puja with the solution with 15 minutes. And voila, its done!”
“So obviously the guy Abdul must have done all of this,” said Vidrum. “He actually did puja in front of an idol. Without doubt he destroyed it after he was done. It doesn’t matter. I never liked Bollocks anyway.”
Vidrum scratched his chin. “But one thing I am worried about is how did he manage to get a strand of Meghana’s hair?”
“Oh that is nothing surprising or new I am sure,” said Somakhya. “What I am really concerned about is how he managed to get a strand of Lootika’s hair!”
Vidrum gave her a dirty look. Suddenly Somakhya’s eyes widened. “By our good god MT! It must have already taken effect on Lootika by now. She did drink a little of the water. Undoubtedly this whole scheme was an attack by the Ghazis to weaken Hindus! Come, we have to go to her house immediately.”
